The Plight of the Traveling Homebody (And some BIG news!)

This may be hard to believe coming from a girl who has just spent seven months living in a foreign country, but I have a confession to make: I am a homebody. I know that doesn’t sound very convincing but it’s true. Right up there with my favorite moments spent next to famous monuments are the quiet mornings I get to spend snuggled on the couch at home in my pajamas with my cup of tea.

There is something so comforting and calming about familiarity, about having the ones you love so close, your favorite restaurants down the street, your own house, language, car, friends and pillow. And with all the push for travel nowadays it seems this innate need to feel rooted gets understated and even criticized. How dare a young 20-something say they want to feel settled in their own town with a house and a career! You gotta get out and see the world! This is your chance! Time is running out! (which, by the way, is one of my very few pet peeves and contributes horribly to my "fear of missing out" aka “FOMO").

It's things like this that just increase FOMO tension. 

Of course, I agree, on some level, otherwise I wouldn’t be so far from home in a foreign environment. Travel is important for personal growth, intercultural understanding and experiencing other ways of living. It is invaluable in the sense that it gives us a realistic perspective on the world that we all inhabit. 

But, why does that mean I can’t love my hometown and usual routine?

You might consider me split in two. One half is excited and looking forward to traveling and the other half would be perfectly happy to stay rooted where I am. I sometimes feel I will always be torn between these two desires because a love for travel is not easily compatible with a love for close, solid relationships and circumstances. Of course, I have met some of the best friends of my life through traveling and even though we keep in touch well there is always that inevitable goodbye. It tears my heart to pieces and allows for the homebody side of me to just wish I could settle down already and hold on to the people and places I love most as securely as possible.

As a traveler, I love the excitement of change, of starting something new and the unpredictability of it all. But I’m also a feeler, identifying closely and strongly with those people and places with which I find myself surrounded, making change an unbearably heartbreaking experience. 

At this point in my life, I feel strong and independent and ready to take on the world. But, every once in a while I get that yearning for something more durable in my life to support and sustain me. This might seem obvious, but those are the moments I have to remind myself… this is natural. I’m allowed to feel homesick. Yes, I live in Europe. Yes, this is the experience of a lifetime. But sometimes as human beings we just need a little continuity, a little stability (cue music: “We all neeeed somebody to leeeeeean on!”)

Because sometimes you just need a group of friends
and good old American traditions (Circleville Pumpkin Show 2011).

So, what’s next? Where does a traveling homebody go from here?

Call it a first world problem, but this Spring I have been faced with another life decision: to renew my contract here in Spain for another school year or to head home and try my hand at finding a Spanish teaching job.

Considering all my options and how these seven months in Spain have gone for me it has not been an easy decision. I’ve had an amazing experience here in Linares and at my school in a pueblo nearby. I’ve loved the people, the tapas, the flamenco, the landscape and my classes. 

Flamenco Friday nights in Linares

Late night kebabs with good friends

But, another confession: I’ve also felt more homesick than ever before during my time here. I can’t say exactly why, but I suppose I just have a different perspective since coming here. I had an amazing last year of college that showed me how much there is to love in Columbus, Ohio and what my life could be like as a Spanish teacher in a middle school with some awesome kids. I actually look forward to my first apartment there and my teaching career.

My Spanish I students and I in Columbus last year.

My future apartment, directly out of an Ikea catalogue (a girl can dream right? ;)

But, here in Spain I’m learning so much as well. The teachers I work with respect me and support me in teaching my own lessons. I have a great schedule and wonderful friends. Most people would tell me I’m crazy to pass up the opportunity to renew and I’ve been straight up torn in two for months now thinking about it. I want to keep traveling and experiencing new things but the homebody in me can’t bear more drastic change. I miss my family and friends back stateside but I would also miss everyone here horribly if I go. 

I miss my family.

But I'd miss my Spain family so much too
...for obvious reasons ;)

And then there is the added stress that comes from the pressure to change regions in Spain and start another adventure in another region (as many people in this program do in their second year). It comes from that same fear of missing out, fear of not getting the full Spain experience… whatever that means. 

So, what do I do? Is there a compromise in this situation? A way to please my traveling homebody tendencies?

I’ve found the best thing I can do, and perhaps this can be a life motto, is to maintain parts of my life as stable as possible while steadily changing other aspects to keep life interesting. Maintaining some relationships while at the same time starting new ones. Living in the same place for a while but traveling to new ones as often as I feel the need.

Here’s the news everybody (take a deep breath, Mom and Dad): I’ve renewed my contract at my school in Spain and my request has been accepted. I’m on for another school year here in this province of Jaén that I’ve come to love and cherish. I’ve made a home for myself here and I’m going to maintain the roots I have begun for the time being. It's not the easiest decision emotionally... but I know it's the right one for me at this time. I will not let my travel bug down or let my FOMO get the best of me. I will travel as often as I like to as many exciting new places as I like and in the meantime… I’ll just be here among the olive groves, counting my many blessings as a traveling homebody.

(And don't worry, Mom & Dad, I'll be home for 2.5 months this summer to do nothing but enjoy good old American traditions and your company ;)