Home (?)

Well here I am. At home. Sitting in front of the Christmas tree. Listening to Christmas music. Watching it snow outside. How is it that such everyday, familiar things can seem so surreal? How is it that home can seem so familiar and yet so... not like home anymore.

As evidenced by the few confusing sentences above, I'm having a hard time understanding even my own feelings about being back Stateside. I'm happy to be here. To see my family, my friends. To be a part of the Christmas season. And to witness the snowfall. Before, all of this would have been all I needed to be happy in life. Now, I feel as if I'm missing something. My first morning back at home I woke up with a start, feeling as though something was wrong and knowing that everything was different.

The only thing I can compare the feeling to is breaking up with your boyfriend (on fairly good terms) or losing a loved one, and although those are completely sad and morbid examples, they make sense (to me anyway). Things have changed. I have to come to accept that so I can be happy in my new situation. Some days I'll have to grieve over what I no longer have, but other days (and I hope these days outnumber the grieving ones) I'll be able to blissfully remember what I had there and the amazing memories that were created... and those things will never leave me.

In answer to the question, "Will you go back?" : of course I will. I now have unbelievable family and friends in Córdoba and the city will always be like my second home. I'm already planning how my next adventures could take me back there at some point. My experiences in Argentina have been the highlight of my LIFE so far and it's going to be hard to live up to that much wonderfulness again... but I can certainly try ;) So once again, I've got to choose to be positive, to keep looking forward, to never give up on even my most outlandish dreams, and to find a way to make the most of life no matter where I am, and I'm sure true happiness will be soon to follow.