Hope, Transitions, and Roller Coasters

What do you do with your life after 5+ months of living on a complete and total adventure/travel high?
a) immerse yourself in work and homework
b) lose yourself in reminiscing about the good old days
c) go out with your friends and forget it all
d) spend countless hours trying to stay connected with friends and family from abroad
e) all of the above

If you guessed "e" you would be correct. Being back stateside has been a rude awakening. Life is no longer so easy and carefree, responsibilities demand complete attention and the everyday excitement for life I once had is no longer so easy to achieve on a daily basis. And its hard to listen to people say that "that's just the way real life is" when you just know it doesn't always have to be that way. To put it in metaphor perspective: Now that I've had a taste of what it feels like to ride a monster roller coaster, it's hard to get a good thrill from riding the dinky ones.

Of course, I've had some exciting and memorable times since I've been back. My parents, in an effort to keep me from the winter/culture shock blues, planned a family road trip to Oglebay's Winter Festival of Lights in West Virginia, to Pennsylvania to visit extended family, and to Niagara Falls in New York (which is, by the way, an absolutely breathtaking frozen wonderland in the winter). I've also spent some wonderful days and nights with some of my closest friends and made connections with some new friends as well. And the almost constant snow (and various snow days) since I've been back have made winter bearable and beautiful up until this point. Even on my worst days, I can think about the many exciting things ahead of me and begin to feel hopeful again. For example, during spring break, I plan on taking a trip down south to visit some of the friends that I made abroad. And this summer I will be moving out of my parents house (yes, it's finally happening) and into a quaint little house near campus with two of the best friends a person could ask for. In the fall, I'll get my first real chance to teach in a classroom and by the winter I'll be teaching as a full-time, student teacher (hopefully in an exciting, new international high school where almost all classes are taught in a foreign language).

But, my ultimate goal at the moment is to live in the here and now, even when memories of the past pull me into waves of nostalgia and thoughts of the future put me in my "excessive planner" mode. So many months and years of my life were consumed and based on studying abroad in Argentina before and during that experience, that I'm still learning how to define my life after my time there. It's a difficult but necessary transition, and rather than be afraid of it I'm learning to embrace it and get excited all over again.

I can do anything. That's a huge part of what I learned in the past year. I'm at a time in my life where my emotional and responsibility-related ties are few and the opportunities are endless. After graduation I can go where I feel drawn (anywhere in the world) and do whatever I feel passionate about at the time. I can choose to let people and things rule my life, or I can choose to define that life for myself. The key to hope, at least in my case, right now, is truly believing that I have the freedom to choose and shape my future. And with that kind of hope the world turns into a monstrous roller coaster once again.